Doubt is a crippling thing.
It seizes you in the night, right as you attempt to fall asleep. It begins by seeping into your thoughts, discolouring visions of your future, dreams for tomorrow. Forcing you to curl back into the shell of uncertainty.
It wraps it’s hands around your hopes and taints them, forcing you wide awake. Questions erupt tenfold for every idea you have, crushing them before they get the chance to bloom.
Asking, “Are you sure you can do that?”, “Is this really what you want?”, “Are you actually going to want to have that career all your life?”…and the best of all; “Are you good enough for that?”
It’s infuriating, destroying confidence and certainty in a swift hit. Weeks of careful thought and planning can be thrown out as soon as doubt enters into the equation.
I am constantly struggling with my choices in a world of indecisiveness. I cannot decide where to take myself in this life, what to do with myself, which path to take. Where do I go? How do I move forward if I have to leave people behind? Where should I place my focus?
I am so unsure. My mother always told me, “If in doubt, don’t.” Though mostly applied to matters regarding shopping, maybe it is just the philosophy I need to apply to life?